Sheila Klass' Last Blog Post

(her granddaughter, Josephine, uploaded this on March 31, 2014, four days after Sheila died)

These days I am a virtual prisoner.  My treacherous body, after eight and a half decades, staged a bloodless coup and took over.  Yes, my muscles, my nervous system, my glands, indeed whatever parts of me cannot think – suddenly and without warning – seized control and now they determine what I can do.

After 85 years of idiosyncratic independence, of resisting Authority, and its boring handmaiden, Common Sense, indeed, rejecting any “higher” earthly judgment (even doctors’ edicts during medical crises) I have been totally compromised.  Reduced to slavish obedience. How was this shameful defeat accomplished?  I grew old.

Full Post: Yes, I Dare to Eat a Peach.

"Ungrateful Mother" and Proud Daughter.

Sheila Solomon Klass

Perri Klass is a remarkable pediatrician and writer.  Last year, her mother, Sheila S. Klass, an English professor at the Borough of Manhattan Community College, wrote a remarkable piece in the NY Times entitled “A Very Ungrateful Old Lady.

 It begins:

“I am a legally blind octogenarian. I have wonderful adult children who often help me, but I can never accept their help gracefully.

It is a terrible thing to be a burden. They say I am not, but I know better. Perhaps many of you have parents like me."

Sheila Klass died on March 26, 2014.

Her daughter, Perri  had a follow-up piece in the May 28, New York Times, called “She Wasn’t So Ungrateful, After All.”

"My mother’s essay resonated with many readers, reminded them of their aging parents or of themselves. I’m not sure that everyone is ready for certain kinds of honesty from people toward the end of life, trapped in bodies that are progressively betraying them after decades of service, facing the future with the daily reminders that come from losing friends and contemporaries, perhaps picking up messages in the air on special frequencies not audible to the rest of us."

 

Perri Klass

These essays are book-ends – both are keepers.  They will give you insights you are unlikely to get from “The Literature.”

See: A Very Ungrateful Old Lady
See: She Wasn't So Ungrateful, After All
Sheila Solomon Klass Obituary

  

 

Dealing With Grief (Liam Neeson)

Anderson Cooper interviews Liam Neeson five years after the death of his wife, Natasha Richardson.

"Dealing with grief, dealing with loss-- there is power in hearing how other people have dealt with it and power in hearing how other people have faced it and live with it," says Cooper.

This 60 Minutes Overtime Interview is a fine introduction to this subject.

Grim Reaper Cartoon

D.N.R. What Young Doctors Choose

1,100 physicians who were completing clinical training university affiliated medical centers were surveyed regarding the choices they would make for themselves if they were terminally ill.

Their reply: 88.3 percent would choose a do-not-resuscitate or “no code” status.

Read NY Times article.

Proper Death Planning Is a Final Gift to Loved Ones

NY Times: May 20, 2014

Give your loved ones guidance on what to do as you approach the end of your life.

Although death planning can be emotionally vexing, it is essential for families and survivors. They may not know your true intentions without written directives. By the time the will is read or estate plan executed, it will be too late.

Yet death planning will not only allow you to plan a dignified, meaningful and even splashy exit, but will provide guidance for those attending to your last moments and beyond.

"Proper Death Planning" is a helpful introduction to this area.

Alzheimer's Epidemic

According to a 2014 study from Rush University Medical Center, the number of deaths attributable to the Alzheimer’s disease had been vastly undercalculated. The research showed that Alzheimer’s was the underlying cause in 500,000 deaths in the United States in 2010, a figure close to six times the estimate from the Centers for Disease Control. This means that in a single year, Alzheimer’s claimed nearly as many lives as AIDS — responsible for 636,000 deaths in this country — had taken in more than three decades.

See NY Times article: Alzheimer's:  A Neglected Epidemic.

Medflix

MEDFLIX is a repository for films that deal with illness and the human condition. It contains brief reviews of movies and documentaries about death and dying, suicide, grief, mourning, funeral homes and many related topics.

The Pathography Blog

A pathography is a narrative that gives voice and face to the illness experience. It puts the person behind the disease in the forefront and as such is a great learning opportunity for all care givers and fellow sufferers. This blog is a repository for these stories. It contains references to books about death and dying, suicide, grief, mourning and many related topics. Pathography Blog.

The Bridge of Sighs

by Thomas Hood

One more Unfortunate,  

  Weary of breath,

Rashly importunate,       

  Gone to her death!       

Take her up tenderly,              

  Lift her with care;       

Fashion'd so slenderly    

  Young, and so fair!       

See full poem 

The New Old Age Blog

Thanks to the marvels of medical science, our parents are living longer than ever before. Most will spend years dependent on others for the most basic needs. That burden falls to their baby boomer children. The New Old Age blog explores this unprecedented intergenerational challenge. You can reach the editors at newoldage@nytimes.com.

Many of  the articles in this blog are keepers.  It's a good source to follow.

Can’t We Talk About Something More Pleasant?

In “Can’t We Talk About Something More Pleasant?,” the cartoonist-philosoph, Roz Chast, reminds us how deftly the graphic novel can capture ordinary crises in ordinary American lives, how a mixture of cartoons and photographs and text can create a family portrait with all the intimacy and emotional power of a conventional prose memoir.

The portrait of filial love and duty in “Can’t We Talk” will resonate with baby boomers grappling with their own aging parents — from worries about their safety, to the resurfacing of ancient family arguments, to nerve-racking dealings with hospitals and nursing care and hospices.

Full NY Times book review.
Paula Span talks with Roz Chast about "Cant We Talk About Something More Pleasant" in the NYTimes blog, The New Old Age.